No sleep but I'm not tired

well I'm worn out.

I think I have hit that stage in every woman's life that they dread...yet look forward to...menopause.

Mom passed three years ago so I don't have her to talk to about this.

It started about a week ago with a twitch in my eye that wouldn't stop...then a bit of dry eye. Symptomes not usually linked with menopause, but it did mean that my body was acting up.

So, even after we unfroze the radiator pipe I was still getting a chill in my body but not my face. Saturday night I was radiating heat like you wouldn't believe!! My arms were really hot...but it stopped by the time I got to bed...although hubby says I've been throwing covers on him during the night.

Sunday I took advantage of not being able to get to the post office to work a little more on my partners exchange gift and suddenly my cheeks started burning like they were wind chapped, but they weren't. I did go to Brownies with my daughter and we did stand out in the cold for a very long time but I don't think that would have been enough.

Then it started again last night. My cheeks started to get really warm....then I couldn't get to sleep even though I was tired....then I felt like I was an old 33 1/3 record being played at 45rpm...like a hamster on a wheel. Everytime I closed my eyes I swear I heard something going on with the water pipes, the septic pump, the furnace, etc. I tried my best to relax short of going out in the other room for my ipod which would have kept hubby awake--like my flipping wasn't doing that enough as it was...

SO I'm wandering the house at 3am, suffering in bed waiting for morning; too hot to be under the covers, too cold to be outside of them; finally about 430 I decided 'screw it' and snugged up to hubby to see if it would relax me enough to fall asleep....nope.

In fact all it did was wake him up and get us talking which got me crying....because I said I didn't have my mom here anymore to talk to about it....but we both realized that it was just the hormones talking...

Well I had a feeling it is menopause starting to rear its ugly symptomes, but I'm not quite 45 yet so it is really surprising.

I am kind of looking foward to not having a period every month.....it will be nice not to have to worry about it during the summer....having to wear that lumpy pad every day for a week....I can have sex with hubby any time we'd like and not have to be careful....

On the other hand it means....the end of chances for having a baby....it means I'm getting old....I just bought a bunch of pads (good thing I have girls)....hubby can have sex whenever he wants it (you know there are times you just want to be left alone).

But I need to make an appointment with my dr to see....it could be symptomes of something else...I've had the runs for the last coupld of days too....but then that's "normal" for my body to do so if my period is running late or just before it starts.
But the hot-flashes are something new.